Women always at fault


I was doing my laundry at his house
He was a friend
Our washing machine broke
I suggest to my mom to take our laundry to my friend’s house
We have been friends for several months
and we have many common friends

so I didn’t expect him when..
I didn’t expect him to..

He came into the laundry room playing with himself!
I looked in disbelief
and was outraged, really outraged
I ran to leave the house
leaving the laundry behind, for it didn’t matter anymore
He followed me
and grabbed me from my arm strongly
I got scared
He pushed me on the sofa
and pushed himself over me
I felt parallized
and didn’t know what to expect
I had to react, in anyway
I got all the courage I have, and warned him firmly
If you are not going to leave me alone now, I will make sure to tell everyone about this

Thank God!
He backed off!
I was relieved
He started telling me that he loves me and that he wants me
I took my laundry while still frightened and left

I was in shock
and didn’t want to see him again
Our friends started to question me
It was my word against him

Why were you in his house they asked?
I should have expected that reaction!
No matter how much of a victim a woman can be, it is always her fault

I am the immoral bitch who trusted the decency of a male friend
and his kind proposal for me to have my laundry at his house

You never know where a predator lies? no?

and you know what hurts the most?
It isn’t that he betrayed the trust I gave him
and freaked the hell out of me
but
the injustice you feel when someone hurts you and your friends who you depend on
just stand still
questioning your credibility and honesty

It hurts
but what can I do
I was in his house! It justifies it, no?!

With love,
Haya

Flowers flow through the cyber world to you..


It easy to accumilate negative feelings of people around you. Sometimes, it would be wise to stop for a moment and let those voices out. It feels good to open up those channels and level down the tension in your head.

I want to offer a digital flower for everyone reading this post.

Marie, Kinzi and Hayat come to mind at the top of the list.

Natasha you too, miss you 🙂

Rami’s wall – My cultural dilemma


Rami Abdelrahman opened his wall for his readers contributions for his celebration of his blog ranking in the top 50 cultural blogs in Sweden. I, for heading to Sweden at the end of this month to attend a cultural program, sent him my cultural dilemma in terms of a short post with a lot of questions. Check it out at his blog. Feel free to answer those questions on his blog, or contribute to his wall yourself.

Religion and Alcohol


Have you ever thought of the similarity of the effects of religion and alcohol on one’s life?

How awkward would it be to compare a belief system with a beverage? and how complex can the psychology of a human being be to allow such a comparison to take place? in the same line, how complex is the human behaviour? and to what extend can we measure the effect of thoughts and ideas on human behaviour vs substances and chemicals?

In truth, it is all translated into chemicals in our brains. Whether it is alcohol consumption or a hug from a lover, both results in some chemicals reactions in our brains. Substances like alcohol can be strongly addictive, but habits as well can also develop addiction too.

So what happens when someone develops a strong attachment to a certain religion? The changes in a person’s life style and his relationships with his environment can lead to a stage that is no less dangerous than a person suffering from alcoholism. Religious extremist abuse religion the same way an alcoholic abuses alcohol, they suffer the same symptoms from destroyed family relationships to hardship social interactions, and as alcohol can lead to death, manipulated extreme religious people may end up to be terrorists.

Karl Max was no wrong when he said that “Religion is the opium of the people”. Opium and alcohol both result in a distorted brain perseption.

Both religion and alcohol result in euphoria if consumed in a small quantities, it is ironic how this can explain how some muslims prefer joy coming from their faith rather than from alcohol. It is good as long it is conrolled where it doesn’t lead to addiction.

The bottom line:

‘Both God and wine are good for you, if taken in small doses’

Over-qualified for a husband!


Suha, my friend, has been on a date the other day
one of the first things the guy she was dating made clear is:
He DOEESNT MIND her to keep her job if they get married!
He doesn’t mind?!!!
What the heck?
As if it is his decision!
What a consdensing little brat!
and I bet he feels good about himself for being *open minded* enough
to let his wife keep her job!
and maybe other people praise him for that as well
for it is by default to a lot of people that such descision belong to the *man*

BULLSHIT!

Then you have me here…
looking at an excellent job offer I recently recieved
They offer me a job title I have never dreamt of
They offer me a ridiculous high salary I never expected

My initial natural reaction was jumping of happiness
but soon all faded out to fears and concerns
right after the moment I presented it to my parents and friends
and watched the not-so-happy reaction on their faces

“Haya, better job title, and bette salary, and then what?!!”

THEN WHAT??!
“Then what” carries the unworthy nature of my career achievements!
It over-shadows -unfairly- all the tiresome, my hard work and ambition over the years
It is a reminder that I am a woman living in a male dominated society
where my only worth is attached to how much I can please my husband!

“Habibti, men doesn’t like to engage in a relationship with a woman they feel is superior to them in anyway” a friend of mine said it!

That’s the bottom-line, isn’t it?
The inferiority complex of the Jordanian male!

So that means enno every promotion of my results in a smaller pool of a potential future husband!
As if the pool has been big enough in the first place!

and I honestly don’t want to stay single
I am, like any other girl, would like to meet the right guy
and start my own family

but it is becoming an impossible task with all of the social constraints
The issue of career itself alone is a delimma!
In one hand, you have those mom’s, and guys looking for a working women to help him in the expenses of the family
While in the other hand, you have the same mom’s and guys who don’t want him to be married to a woman whose job title or salary is better than his!
because people would call him “Goz el Set”! (The husband of the Madamme!)

and I bet that a lot of guys just wouldn’t care if their women carried a better job if it is just for them
but we all have this stupid worrisome of what others would say about us, no?
and it is a big offense to the man’s masculinity and social status if his woman *makes more* than him!

Wasn’t it the ability to make more money the excuse men had for ages to keep their women in the kitchen?
but now, life has changed
and ironically, women are making more and more everyday
destroying all kinds of social forms that were built around the notion that the man is the family financial supporter

but then, change is hard
and people would fight for their traditions and *cultures*
leaving me with a tough decision to make

“Shall I accept the job offer or not?”

Advise me guys…

with love,
Haya