Women can’t participate in funerals?


Why can’t women participate in funerals in Jordan?

I don’t know if this is a religious issue or another social unjust norm. I understand that most women wouldn’t like to go to the grave site and see their loved ones burried under the ground, men don’t like that either, but what if some want to? Why not allow a wife to bury her husband or son? a daughter to bury her mother?

It is heart wrenching to see my friend burying his mother-in-law yesterday. He literally was pulling sand on to her grave, while his wife (another friend of mine), was moaning at home because she can’t be there.

Doesn’t a dead woman wish to have other close women at her side while burying her under the ground? I know that if I am a woman, I would want that.

10 thoughts on “Women can’t participate in funerals?

  1. This is one of those cultural things here that kills me. When a man is mourning, he needs his wife/sister/daughter by his side. It is why God made us for one another.Even worse for women. I was mourning for HRH Queen Nour and their daughters when they could not accompany her husband’s body to the grave.

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  2. I’ve been told that women use to go to burial sites but most of the times they would loose control,unable to contain their grief some would cry and scream loudly, pull their hair and clothes..I guess it is in a way to protect women from such heartache.. I know I wouldn’t be able to see the body of a loved one being buried without a box, men are more in control of their emotions…Yet a woman would stand and watch for another dead woman during the body ritual wash!!Why women don’t go to the mosque,I have no idea and never questioned it when I was back home but I know here in our local masjid men and women pray for the dead..

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  3. no_angel, some people are telling me it isnt a decree. Maybe it is just a cultural behaviour. Noura, I heard this exuse a lot. But there are definatly some woman who are strong enough to handle their emotions. They are entitled to have a choice whether to be their at the grave site or not, right?

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  4. bambam says:

    although shiite do allow women to visit graves and attend the funeral fully, sunni’s don’t based on a couple of hadiths, hence they can’t attend the burial but there is nothing stopping them from washing (females or their deceased husbands) and praying for the deceased. it being mentioned in the hadith (twice actually in terms of specific) makes it a decree atleast for the sunni, as for some background about the reasoning it is said that back in those days they used to hire female wailers at the time and it was to discourage that norm. for more info here are a couple of links < HREF="http://www.janazh.com/janazh/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=439" REL="nofollow">arabic link<>< HREF="http://en.allexperts.com/q/Islam-947/women-allowed-visit.htm" REL="nofollow">english link<> why do i have the feeling that am not the right person to explain this stuff -_-‘

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  5. I like in some issues to just submit to takalid,religion or culture whatever it is.. I like in some issues just to follow what my mom did and her mother before her.. When I was home I use to just long for a day when I can break free and now I pray everyday that when I go home I find the same rules that to use to bug me still exist and I will be disappointed if they don’t..As for your question,am puzzled by it ..Nobody from a long generation of women I know ever asked to be there..

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  6. Is it like they would arrest women if they attend a funeral?! Is there any law that forbids a woman attending a funeral?!As far as I know, (at least in the west) marriage is legally considered the strongest bond… So in any dispute regarding a woman’s husband, her word is taken above even his brothers or parents.So legally, it should be the wife who has the final word who attends the funeral and who don’t…

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  7. good point devil’s mind, so bambam, if this is a religious law as you said for sunni people, does the jordanian government enforce it? or is it just applied as cultural way where women just fear to cross it so that not to bring shame upon herself or her family?I like the western model, wives should have the say in what concern their husbands. That is fair.

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