Jordanian Women and Marriage, again!

On the wedding, I will put a note on my forehead addressing anyone telling me 3o2balek (wishing me to get married next) *Kos Okhtak* (an arabic very humilating insult that means literally “your sister’s pussy” with a hidden meaning of fuck your sister)

That was what she said before her younger brother’s wedding.

The 100 million dollar question is: Why would a young, 26 years old, woman curse people who only wish her good?

That is because she is fed up with those wishes. To her, and to many other women, in her age, those wishes are stabs in her back. Stabs that society meant to say with it that you are not good enough unless you get married. Especially in this case where her younger brother (which is marrying at a young age in terms of the Jordan society standard for men to get married) is showing his success, while at the same time, without intention highlighting her failure of getting married.

A marriage that should be achieved within a short period of time and before she reaches 30 years old. A marriage where a woman should stand still waiting for her chance because it is inappropriate for her to make a move. A marriage where financial situations makes it even harder for many men to make such a move.

Time is ticking, the older a women gets, the less chances of getting married she get. While many young men are going with the modern way of choosing their bride of meeting the girl and getting to know her first before proposing to her family, a lot of others still depend on their mothers to choose for them. The old way where the mother look for the young respectful beautiful virgin to be her future daughter-in-law.

Mothers are making it even harder for their daughters. They keep on nagging about it, thinking that they are doing good, while they are in reality making their daughter’s lives a living hell in an age where they should be enjoying the best of their lives.

Check out:
Hal’s mother nagging for her to find Mr. Right!: He’s a long time a-comin’
7aki Fadi’s memory with el Khuttab: My uncle,the coffee and the 3arees

The origin of Devils and Humans nature

I have always believed in the goodness of human beings, and always fought those who claim that some of us are just purely evil. We usually like to demonize each other, which is something that comes out of us because of our fear on ourselves rather than hatred for those who we don’t know much.

While goodness is my perception of people, I am not naive to ignore our capability of committing the most of evil we can imagine. Sometimes evil hits me hard on my face, it shakes my believes, and makes me wonder whether what I have always believed in is not totally right.

In “The Devil and Miss Prym” Paulo Coelho explores the goodness and evilness in humans. Like most of his novels. He gives a compelling story with a lot of wisdom.

What really stopped me is the talk about Devils’ origin in Chinese philosophy. According to them, devils are made of human souls which experienced evil.

It does make big sense.

I have always percieved people who do evil to be the ones who experienced evil the most. I wouldn’t label them as devils because they are reacting to their own pain not acting out of nothing. It seems that only those who are in pain that can inflict pain on others.

Another concept that Paulo represented in this book is a way for people to let go of their pain. When we are hurt, we feel bitter and injustice. We keep the pain in our hearts, and feel it is our right to hurt others in order to take our own revenge of life (God).

Paulo suggests when you address God and asking him for forgivness for the list of sins you have committed, you should build another list for the sins committed upon you by God and forgive him from your side for the injustice you felt inflicted on you.

Bad people are in pain. Their pain are not clear to us. It is only manifested in their actions. When you find someone hurting another one, you can see clearly that he is in pain himself. It is a good sign for people who can help to address those in pain and try to heal them with love.

People are good. When you feel injustice, let it go. Don’t let your own experience with evil blind you and turn you into a devil. No matter how much pain you inflict on others, it won’t erase the feeling of injustice you have inside of you. It can only go by your own well of letting it go.

My first demonstration and tear bombs!

A couple of years ago, while the Israeli forces where surrounding the Palestinian President – Yasser Arafat at that time – and all the other Palesitnian officials in their offices in Ramallah, the Arabic media were all at rage for what they percieved as another Israeli violation for the Palestinian authority and people.

Here in Jordan, where people are the most closer to what were happening in Palestine, most of us were so angry and needed to do something just to let our anger out.

Me and my best friend alone with his brother-in-law and his friends decided to go out in the demonstration which aimed at marching towards the Israeli embassy in Amman and asking its embassador to leave the country. In other words, we wanted to kick him out!

The demonstration meant to happen on Friday after the prayers. My friends, who were all Muslims, wanted to do their prayers. Me, not wanting to stay out alone, or fearing to loose them in the crowd after the prayers, didn’t know what to do. My friend suggested to join them in the prayers. I accepted.

I had no idea what to do, so I tried to look around me and mock the other men. I had ofcourse to remove the cross I was wearing around my neck so that it won’t pump out whenever I kneel which would be a bit of disrespect to the people I am praying with and their holy place.

It was a wonderful experience where I felt somekind of a patriotic union between me and my fellow Muslim Jordaians. I felt a sense of belonging and somekind of a mutual love for those people who share with me the same desire of helping in this cause.

After the prayers, a lot of people gathered in the street of the Kalooti Mosk in Al Rabieh. There was a lot of women and young children. The Jordanian Army was there as well for security reasons. They stood among us, and actually some of them were cheering us by saying “Allah ye 7ayye aselkom”. It made us feel somekind of safety for their approval of what we are doing, and so we continued our chouting and patriotic chanting for Paletine “Bel roo7 bel dam, nafdeek ya falestine” (We are ready to give our souls and blood for you Palestine) – Actually some of the chantings where “Nafdeeka ya Abo Ammar” (will give ourselves for Yasser Arafat) which I remained silent about it as I would have never done that!

We were in the middle of the crowd, and so we didn’t know what were happening up at the front where people tried to move on with their way towards the Israeli Embassy. I guess the Army tried to hold them, then suddenly, the Army forces between us withraw to the sides of the streets. And suddenly people started running. I didn’t realize why, but I have noticed the Army throwing some tear bombs between us.

I have heard about those tear bombs, but never experienced it. Instead of running with the people, I stupidly thought that there no need to rush, I was looking at those bombs 10 feet away of me and laughing that they are harmless! Till I suddenly realized what they can do when my eyes and nose started swelling! Unfortunatly it was too late for me to run! I had no idea what and so I find myself barging into the nearest place where I hoped I can hide in one of the house around the street. Thank God the people of the house were good ones, and allowed us to enter.

I noticed that it was not only me who barged into there house. There were some other men as well. We were all in tears and finding some difficulties in breathing because of those stupid bombs. The people of the house gave us some onions to smell in order to save us from the effect of those tear bombs.

Some people were beaten up that day, some got to the hospital for loosing their conscious because of the tear bombs, some got all wet from the colored water they shoot on us, others were taken to jail. Fortunatly I was able to go back home. Disappointed first for not achieving our goal, and secondly for realizing the amount of freedom we have in this country and how we can easily get our rights of demonstrating violated.