He sighted in boredom, moaning to his master to give him some work to do. The young 12 years old child was sitting on a chair next to mine under the shade at the mechanic’s garage while holding a pepsi can that he seems to refuse to let it go with this hot weather.
He caught my attention with the way he talks. I didn’t expect this kind of language to come out from this little thin body. It was obvious that this little boy is trying to live an age older than his, trying to mock up grown ups in a tough environment where even the tone of your voice is an indication of how manly you are.
I wasn’t aware of the role of this boy in a mechanic garage. While trying to ease my anger of having to wait for hours till they fix my car, I sat there under the shade trying to avoid touvhing anything that would dirt or harm me. The sight of the boy and the insight I felt of his tough life, initiated a feeling of unease in my gut, a mixed feeling of guilt and relief, injustice and blessfulness, sympathy and protectivness. Comparing my attitude to this man in a child disguise, I felt being a child myself.
My washing machine worked fast, and soon, my bad feeling faded away as I got more familiar with the scene at hand and the expressions on the face of the boy. He didn’t seem to me that he is really suffering that way I assumed from the little glimpse on his life. Maybe it was his own washing machine that has been working to ensure a sense of accpetance for his situation and adaptation to this kind of life.
The vulgar sexually explicit language is what really bothered me about the whole situation. Living in an ivory world, watching the hype of the media about childhood and the risks of exposing children to sexual materials hit reality at the sight of this boy who seemed to be doing *fine* to me, and holding himself and his sanity better than millions who live in castles and kill themselves out of bordeom!
The whole situation made me wonder how fragile/immune we really are as children. How legitemate is all the hype generated by the media of exposing children to sexually oriented materials? and how much we have to work in order to help those kids? Does over protecting result in a more fragile or more immune person?
The other day, and on boston legal, the popular law American TV show, a case was presented of a law suit issued by an American mother on a company who produces dolls with emplicitly sexual gesture. Both of the attorneys from the defense and offense sides did their job in defending their client’s stand. The defensive side highlighted how much sex is really incorproted in our daily lives and how the kid of that mother is already exposed to other sexually oriented materials at the very sight and hear of his mother. From music, internet, video games and people’s clothes or behaviour, kids around the globe are exposed to sexuality more than we imagine. No kid is protected as much as we think he is.
Our bodies matures faster than our minds. While a 12 years old kid can be fully developed physically and is ready – actually in need – for sex. His mind might be still immature to handle the sequences of such an intense operation.
In our side of the world, it wasn’t an uncommon practice before 50 years for young people in their early teenage years to get married. My grandmother became a mother herself for a twin at the age of 14. While hearing about it now sounds to be odd and unfair, she herself doesn’t seem to suffer from that. In the contrary, she seems to live a happy life.
The other day as well, on Dr. Phil show, they showed this 25 years old female teacher who fall in love with a 17 years old boy whom she used to teach. She was on trial. She has lost her respect among her community, lost her job, and at the risks of spending a lot of years in jail.
I am not sure how much this teacher really used this boy, and how much damage she could have implicitly caused him, and I don’t know how would I feel as a parent if such a thing ever happens to my child, but I am also looking it from his own perspective and how much it means for a teenager to have sex with his teacher which was a common fantasy among my peers at school.
Did she really harm him or granted him something that maybe have added to his self confidence and fullfilled his dreams?
The topic of pedophility is a red line. They call them sexual predators in the US. People who have sex with children end up in jail for very long. I am not sure how much different the verdict is if the sex incident happens with the consent of the child or not, and I am not going to defend pedophiles here because it is a risky topic that I am not sure where I even stand with it, but I wonder about the truth behind our behaviour and sexuality.