On the wedding, I will put a note on my forehead addressing anyone telling me 3o2balek (wishing me to get married next) *Kos Okhtak* (an arabic very humilating insult that means literally “your sister’s pussy” with a hidden meaning of fuck your sister)
That was what she said before her younger brother’s wedding.
The 100 million dollar question is: Why would a young, 26 years old, woman curse people who only wish her good?
That is because she is fed up with those wishes. To her, and to many other women, in her age, those wishes are stabs in her back. Stabs that society meant to say with it that you are not good enough unless you get married. Especially in this case where her younger brother (which is marrying at a young age in terms of the Jordan society standard for men to get married) is showing his success, while at the same time, without intention highlighting her failure of getting married.
A marriage that should be achieved within a short period of time and before she reaches 30 years old. A marriage where a woman should stand still waiting for her chance because it is inappropriate for her to make a move. A marriage where financial situations makes it even harder for many men to make such a move.
Time is ticking, the older a women gets, the less chances of getting married she get. While many young men are going with the modern way of choosing their bride of meeting the girl and getting to know her first before proposing to her family, a lot of others still depend on their mothers to choose for them. The old way where the mother look for the young respectful beautiful virgin to be her future daughter-in-law.
Mothers are making it even harder for their daughters. They keep on nagging about it, thinking that they are doing good, while they are in reality making their daughter’s lives a living hell in an age where they should be enjoying the best of their lives.
Check out:
Hal’s mother nagging for her to find Mr. Right!: He’s a long time a-comin’
7aki Fadi’s memory with el Khuttab: My uncle,the coffee and the 3arees
Fadi Zaghmout فادي زغموت 
Yes, this is a Syrian tragedy as well. LoL.“Mama emta bidna enzawjek?”“Mama inta biddi shoofak 3arees?”“Mama, nafsi heik eykoon ebnak 3yoono zere2”La7azet enno baba malo bel soorah? LoL
LikeLike
Through my experience in ilkhotbii my mother never told me eamta ashofik 3aroos, she always keep said to me eamta takhdi ilmaster o ashofik o ma3ek il PHD so funny some times I asked her mom you never think of me as bride ? she said yes of course I wish to see you bride but the certificate more important than il3arees, yamama when you take higher degree your chances with better man will increase ( of course I don’t agree with her its totaly the opposit ) , she made me laugh a lot its hilarious. Finaly, I got engaged by some one who I met in the work and we will marry soon inshalah and my mother still nagging plz mama do your best to finish your master before you get married even if u take 12 hours in a term which is crazy and hard… what do you think about it AO ?
LikeLike
I totally feel how sometimes the society puts alot of pressure on girls, Ill give you a personal example: as the years pass by and you grow older, more and more ppl will ask you:Are you married? if no is your answer, then they ask you WHEN? I only reply by saying 10/10/2010 (sarcastically, just to get them off my back) 🙂
LikeLike
Kj, hehehe, tab yalla man, go for it 😉Nona, heheh, it is always about the 3arees, even for achiving higher education and good career, it all goes back lal 3arees! But I agree with your mother, make sure to finish your education first, you wont have this time once you are married 🙂Bashar, 10/10/2010 is not that far :P. Make 2020 🙂
LikeLike
Unfortunately in our Arab societies when the girl getting older her chances with marriage is decreasing and when she has her master or PHD or higher position in career she can’t look to man who less than her and she cant accept him because will be no balance in relation, and most of the time boys look to girls who younger than them right?In all cases its injustice to girl
LikeLike
I am tired of relatives who are telling me “3o2bal your degree”, then “3o2bal your master”..then “3o2bal you find work”..and then comes “3o2bal il 3aroos”…”3o2bal wladak”…”3o2bal their degree”…”3o2bal they get married”..”3o2bal their grandchildren”It never stops. I am still cursed with the “3o2bal il 3aroos” and it gets worse when my aunt is pushing my parents for it.
LikeLike
Good point. I’ve been thinking about it for a years! It sounds unfair for girls, really unfair.But hey, girls always have their own ways to attract guys into relationships and then marriage. Just as guys go and meet girls before marriage, some girls do attract guys. But still, chances aren’t equal, and it sounds unfair.Q) mata bedna nefra7 feek ??? 😛
LikeLike
introduce that girl to Qwaider. he does not want to get married either. 3ogbalhom el thineen.
LikeLike
Nona, you are right, it is sad how many constraints we put on girls and yet we judge them for failing!Hamza, hehehe, people don’t stop wishing/pushing! Abed Hamdan, are you pushing me man? lol. Well, it is a bit early for me now. But yes, it is unfair to girls 😦Globarorama, the good news is that she is getting married soon.
LikeLike
Hey, while searching for widgets for my blog, I stumbled upon < HREF="http://www.widgetmate.com/" REL="nofollow">http://www.widgetmate.com<> and wow! I found what I wanted. A cool news widget. My blog is now showing latest news with title, description and images. Took just few minutes to add. Awesome!
LikeLike
that was very interesting 🙂
LikeLike
7abaitak 😉its always about th wedding day even when we r at school or still drinking milk -im drinking milk till now- anyway dont know why the centre of their life mothers and fathers and all people is wedding and find the person, not right person! just any person!! msh tabi3i!!
LikeLike
Mahmood, thx 🙂Wedz, it is sad! It is always about the groom! You ladies have to change that! Make them stop 🙂
LikeLike
ya raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!!! i tried! tele3 3alai 7aki la yom el7aki!! eni msa7beh u ba7eb wa7ad ma be7ebni, Aw shayfeh 7ali!!! im not goin to tell u more!!! wa3 😦 till now they dont get that im 27 im still not married or been in a relation!!! 😦
LikeLike
Wedz, let them talk! So what if you have a boyfriend or in love with anyone! It isnt any body business beside you. Ignore them 🙂
LikeLike
You should also check out Khalidah’s blog about the whole issue (she published an article about being single in our society): http://www.anolitasmind.com/2007/03/10/my-first-published-article/
LikeLike
Thx Laura, I will check it out.
LikeLike
and ur comment in which dream mine or urs!! 🙂still im in a middle of arabic tradition zeft country! but thnx 😀
LikeLike
hi every one my name is anthony iam 26 . iam jordanin and every day for the last year my mother been asking me to find a arabic women to marry being in new york thats not an easy thing i have met italin frensh russin white women but she would not agree to any of them she want and arabic women for me so . jordanin or serryn or labanees . if u are in the age of 21-26 u can contact me at my yahoo msnger Anthony2009a.so we can talk a lil and get to know one another.
LikeLike