Midnight Nature Call


* warning: This post may disgust you *


A major difference between men and women is our biological anatomy structure, especially our waste system.

While our early homo sapiens ancestors had only nature to dump their wastes in, with time, we, more civilised sapiens, developed a more sophisticated way of doing so: Creating toilets.

The people behind creating the toilet came up with a design that suits both human males and females. But we, and because of our anatomy differences, use it sometimes in a different way.

For men, we can use our toilette standing up when peeing. For women, they only have one option to use it, always sitting down.

While standing up can be a convenient option for us. It does cause some problems. I have a story to demonstrate it:

A couple of days ago, and in the middle of the night, nature called me. I was so much enjoying my sleep, and so, as usual, I first decided to ignore that urgent call, and continue the ecstatic enjoyment of my sleep. But then, after a while, and from previous experience, I knew that it wasn’t a wise choice. Those calls would keep on haunting me and become much more severe as time goes on. It would practically kill any chance of enjoying my sleep or even any sleeping at all.

So I decided to rush into the bathroom, open the cover of the toilet, and let it go.

I dragged myself from the bed to the bathroom. I opened the cover of the toilet, put down my pants down, and tried to concentrate in order to shoot my waste in the toilet hole so that I won’t miss the target and mess the floor around the toilet.

Trying to concentrate in my current task, an email sent to the men staff at the firm I work in a couple of days ago vaguly popped into my mind.

It was a punishment email, quite embarrassing, As it was issued by the HR, where she was asking men employees to use the firm bathrooms more properly!

Ofcourse because it was a general email to a group of people,me, and I guess everyone else, thought that they are not the target of this email.

And because I am facing the exact situation now in the middle of the night. I remembered a funny thing a friend at the company told me about someone else regarding this issue.

He said:
“The other day X was in the bathroom, and the egyptian man who is responsible of cleaning up the bathrooms came and shut off the lights of the bathroom while X was still in it. When X finished and came out, he asked the egyptian man why did you shut off the lights? The egyptian man answered him ‘You don’t get it right while the lights are on, so it wouldn’t matter'”

I smiled while trying to imagine X struggling in this situation every time he goes to the bathroom. His thick eye glasses hit me, and I thought that maybe the poor guy doesn’t see well in order to make it right.

In normal situations, it is easy for us men to shoot our wastes just right where it supposes to go. It doesn’t require even any practice at all from our site, it is part of our nature, but at certain times when someone isn’t in his best state of mind, maybe a wiser choice would be is to just sit down and enjoy it.

I finished my task in no time and rushed back to my bed trying to clear X from my mind, and going back to my sacred sleep.

7 thoughts on “Midnight Nature Call

  1. Anonymous says:

    LOL, its crazy because here at work we have a co-ed bathroom and Lord knows sometimes look like an open sewage! not to only blame the men, but i am sure that the tinkle on the seat is surely from them. well, i feel the egyptian guy, the lights might as well be off cause seems like X doesn’t mark the spot! LOL marie

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  2. LOL…too funny.Well, I will give you a fact about women too, some women miss the spot because they don’t really sit on the toilet, they hover over it because they don’t want to sit down on the toilet seat…so you can imagine the mess….here you go, don’t feel too bad

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  3. Marie, you have a coed bathroom. It would be a disaster if we have the same here!7aki fadi, ewww, I didnt know that women can miss the spot as well! It is way too easy for them! Abed Hamdan, lol man, okay I will do that when every anything mogref pops into my head😛

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