Social Pressure – Page 10
She didn’t expect to ever see him crying like that in front of her. He is her man, she still loves him. She tried to fight that urge of hugging him, but she couldn’t. She approached him and hugged him “Stop crying, you are a man, I don’t like to see you like this” she said while crying herself.
He hugged her back “I am sorry Sarah, you deserve much better, I am ready for anything you want. If you want a divorce I would respect that. I just want us to keep this marriage for the sake of our son” he said, “and I don’t want this to get out, you have to keep it between us no matter what”
“You are asking me to keep this farce? She asked. “Yes, for the sake of our son and our family” he said, and then asked “What alternatives you have? Do you think it is better to go back and live under your father control? You know that he would be stricter controlling your life now that you are a divorced woman than even before you got married. Being a divorced woman is not nice in our society. Please let us try to make this work. I will take care of you in every aspect except you know…”
“Let me think about it. I just need to ask you this. Why did you marry me Ali? You said that you have no attraction for women at all, so why did you marry me in the first place?” She asked “Sarah, I think that you can understand why. You do understand the pressure of our society on us to get married. You have been there yourself. You know that I am the only son of my parents. Their dream was to see me happily married and to see their grandchildren. I tried to fight their pressure for years, coming up with various excuses, but then I reached to an age where I couldn’t go on without being married. I also wanted a family for my own, I want my own kids. I want to live a normal life. I don’t want to grow up alone either. I am sorry for dragging you into this, I have been selfish regarding you, but I hope that we can work something out” he said.
She asked him to leave the house that night. She needed some space and time to think about everything that happened. She looked around her and examined her alternatives. She is now dependent on him financially as she decided to devote her life to her family after she got married. It is hard for her to go back again and support herself and her son. She then thought of her father and what a divorced daughter would do to him. She doesn’t want to live that life again under his custody and she knows that he won’t let her live alone as a single woman.
Then there is the most important person in her life, her son. She can do anything for him. She doesn’t want him to grow up with separated parents.
First she tried to search for ways to change her husband sexual orientation. She had to read about homosexuality. She asked him to go to a psychiatrist with her. He didn’t resist the idea, and showed much sincerity towards her till she came to a realization that this is the way it will always be. Her husband sexual orientation cannot change. She needs either to accept this life with him or divorce him and move on.
She searched for her lost friend Suha. Suha owed her an apology. She now realizes how wrong she was when she didn’t hear what Suha told her before her wedding. She was so obsessed with the idea of getting married. Her goal blinded her that time. She lost her life time best friend for this marriage.
To be continued (one page to go)…