Morals are relative

We all face the delimma of judging people each day of our lives. We get appalled of other people behaviour and other people judgements of others behaviour. It does differ big time from what we believe is right and what is wrong.

A lot of us have built our moral structure upon a certain religious belief system. Very few look at morality as a relative issue. We usually like to believe that we are right, the others are wrong. We believe that our moral structure is absolute. There is a book that states clearly what is wrong and what is right.

In reality, we face many shocks, even following certain holy books. One can find different interpretation of certain passages along with contradictions from one passage to another. With these contradictions, we can find many sects of people following the same book but each claiming to have the true interpretation with their own absolute moral truth.

Growing up, meeting different people, and getting exposed to different cultures doesn’t help in easing the delimma of placing the guidliness one would follow to judge a certain behaviour.

Covering a woman head is considered to be a highly moral practice in this country (Jordan). In Saudia, they go further to cover the whole face, women who wears only veil in Saudia can be considered as those wearing mini skirts in Jordan. Going further to the west, women wearing revealing clothes don’t trigger a feeling of immoral practice as much as a marriage of cousins would do which is widely spread, and considered normal in our culture, while is considered as incest in the west.

There are plenty of examples that kept me thinking of how to place my judgments.

People don’t like the sound of the idea of judging each other. Some try to back off. Claiming that they don’t judge others, but can’t deny that we all do weight what is right and wrong in our heads.

Maybe there isn’t right or wrong anyway, and as much of a relativity there is to morality, there is also relativity in what is right and what is wrong.

My mind lead me to a small formula that I try to apply to be my compass in weighing things.

  1. How much damage an action causes:
    Whether a person hurts oneself or other people. It gives an indication for my judgement.
  2. The intention of doing the action:
    It differs if the person hurt another one intentionally or unintentionally. Circumstances dictates our behaviour sometimes. Hitting someone with your car unintentionally differs from doing so intending to hurt him.

Having set the rules one can understand my stand of some hypocrite religious people in comparison of my judgement on particular sexual behaviours.

What is your formula of judgements? Let us discuss this…

Explaining Multiple wives from Evolution point of view

This is interesting. A couple of months ago, I asked a biology professor on the internet this question. She gave me a very insightful and interesting answer. Read below:

Is it true that men cant settle with one woman while women can settle with one man?

She said:

No, it’s not true neither is it entirely false. The reality is a bit more complex than that. Our species is, depending upon how you choose to look at it, either serially monogamous or weakly polygamous. What I mean by that is this; in our ancestral environment (the EEA–Environment of Evolutionary Adaptation) the most stable strategy was mixed. If you were male, the most stable strategy would be to have offspring by as many women as you possibly could. If you were female your best strategy was to have offspring by the *best* man you could find. For women that may or may not be the man you were pair-bonded with. If you were a low-status female chances are you were only going to get a low-status male so if you could ever find a way to get pregnant by a high-status male, your offspring would be better off for it since it was the best of all worlds.

There are some very clear, if counter-intuitive reasons.

The reason why there are different strategies that are stable for men and for women only requires a bit of thought. For a male, parental investment *can be* as low as simply donating sperm while a woman has, at minimum, 9 months of pregnancy and then the next dozen or so years of near *total* offspring dependence. What that means is that for a male’s genes, quantity is going to have an edge over quality but for a female quality is *definitely* going to have the edge. A man can, if he chooses, impregnate a woman every day of the year and at the end of a little more than a year have 365 offspring while no matter *how* much sex a woman has, she’s going to produce no more than 1 child a year on average. (For the purposes of this discussion I’m going to ignore twins and other multiple births because they have no real selective effect.)

To understand just how powerful this is, do this little mathematical thought experiment. Take two men, we’ll call them Mr.P and Mr.M. They live in the same group and we’re going to hold the environment constant (because for this purpose it’s simply easier). The name of the game is leaving around descendants (i.e. copies of your genes). Those who leave around the most descendants wins. For sake of simplicity we’ll say that the reproductive cycle is 20 years.

In the first generation Mr.M has four children by Ms.M with 50/50 gender balance. In that *same* generation, Mr. P has two wives, Ms.P1 and Ms.P2. He has four children by *each* woman with 50/50 gender balance. The two sons of M (call them MS1 and MS2) each marry women and have four children each as do M’s two daughters (MD1 and MD2). At the end of the second generation the descendants of M are numbered 16. P’s *four* sons each marry two women and his four daughters each marry one man. At the end of the second generation the descendants of P are numbered 32 by the sons and 16 by the daughters for a total of 48. (4X4(2) + 4X4) Already P’s descendants outnumber M’s descendants 3 to 1. If P is genetically predisposed to polygamy and M isn’t it doesn’t take long before P’s genes will swamp M’s in the population.

However, there’s a price to be paid. It doesn’t take a great deal of genius to see that half of generation two will be male (24 grandsons of P) and if each of these grandsons marries 2 women and produces 8 children then the number of P’s great grandchildren will be almost 300. Of which half will ALSO be male. There’s going
to be fierce competition for females which is going to drive male body size up unless something is done to mitigate the effects.

One interesting effect of monogamy is that it drives *down* male body size. Keep in mind that poor M’s sons are trying to keep up with P’s sons and they can’t. If P’s sons then start competing for women, it will pay for them to be larger. One can see this in ‘winner-take-most’ harem species where males can be gigantic in comparison to females. It’s not because females like gigantic males it’s because the males have to fight to get a harem and then keep it! The less polygamous a species is, the less difference there is between males and females.

The fact that human males are *slightly* larger, on average, than females means we have some selective pressure toward male size–meaning we’re somewhat polygamous–but the lack of a huge difference means that we’re not fully polygamous.

It seems that eveything can be explained in terms of genes these days!

Challenging God valid?

I have came across the story of Prophet Jacob wrestling with God in the Old Testemony of the Bible several times but always felt awkward of the concept itself, didnt even try to think about it except of for sarcasm. How absured the idea of wrestling with God can be? especially when it is written that Jacob won the fight!

Not until yesterday, and thanks to Paulo Coelho, while finalize reading the last couple of pages of his novel ‘The Fifth Mountain’, I had seen the light about the wisdom behind this story.

According to Paulo’s interpretation is that God likes us to challenge his well in order to toughen us. When we decide to fight him that is when we get to see his glory. It like warriors training with their intructors. The aim it to toughen our faith in him. You have to challenge his ways in order to be sure that they are the right ones.

I am not sure how much we have this concept in Islam. I have search for a Hadith and find something close

Allah’s Apostle said, “We are more liable to be in
doubt than Abraham when he said, ‘My Lord! Show me how You give life to the
dead.” . He (i.e. Allah) slid: ‘Don’t you believe then?’ He (i.e. Abraham) said:
“Yes, but (I ask) in order to be stronger in Faith.” (2.260) And may Allah send
His Mercy on Lot! He wished to have a powerful support. If I were to stay in
prison for such a long time as Joseph did I would have accepted the offer (of
freedom without insisting on having my guiltless less declared).

Narrated Abu Huraira

It seems that Prophet Abraham had the same concept as well. Challenge you faith to make it stronger. God doesn’t want us to follow him blindly. He wants each on of us to choose his own path in life.

Young old man short story – Page7 (Final)

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Page 7

He tried to date some other young women but never worked out for him. Even thought that he gained his youth, he lost any motivation to live. He has been there before, and knows what it is like to grow older. In his first experience of youth, it was a vague future in front of him. He wanted to build his own career, he wanted to build his own family, and he wanted to have children, to live wildly! But now, he had it all. He doesn’t feel like having the energy to go through it again.

He misses his old friends, those old lovely times. There is a gap of thinking between him and his fellow young people at his body age. While there is another gap of energy and life between him and his fellow old people at his mind age. He tried living with his son’s family for a while, but he felt obligated to keep on his disguise, he couldn’t take it off. He felt that it is what caused his wife’s death, so he couldn’t risk it with his son.

Life went on; most of his old friends have passed away, his relatives disappearing one after the other. Even his son, out of nowhere, all of a sudden, died with his entire family in a car accident. He felt like his body parts are dying one after the other. Holding on his memories, he started to create his own fantasizes and conversations. Having a family dinner, a birthday party for his son, Christmas time, family vacations,…etc. He lived it all again and again each day with different scenarios.

Thinking about his life, he looked at his birth, he didn’t choose it, but he loved it and lived with it. He looked at his parents, he didn’t choose them, and he loved them and lived with them. His wife, he chose her, at least that is what he thought, she died, and he didn’t want that. His son was a major part of his life; ironically he didn’t plan to have him. His friends came and go. Everything changes, even his body and his mind. Changes were slow and in small portions at the beginning, now he doesn’t know what to think anymore and doesn’t know how to act anymore. It is just scary.

He learnt that the only constant in his life is his own self. He doesn’t set the rules and he had no real choices in this life. Whether it is written fate of God, or a random luck of nature, he still has his inner space of imagination, where he can build his own realms in a much larger world much bigger than the physical one his body limited to. He closed his eyes, and sank into his own space; never opened back, but eternally felt peace with his love covering the space of his own world.

The End

Guys who followed the story, I would appreciate your feedback now. We can discuss the ideas of it as well. Thanks for all who had the patient to follow it up till the end.

Young old man short story – Page6

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Page 6

Before he got the chance to answer, she continued “You know what, you can’t stay with me. I love you so much, and understand that with your youth back, you need a young woman to be with. I won’t limit you up”. With his hands around her face, he raised her head, looking in her eyes “Listen to me, this life doesn’t mean anything to me without you. You are my childhood and my youth. You are the colors of my life. I wake up to see you, and lay down each night hearing your heart beats. It is you that needs to help me cope with this; I can’t tell you how scared I am myself”

Holding her up in his arms, he walked to their bedroom. Putting her gently in the bed, and made love to her as never before. Feeling his youth again after all those years, and with all the experience they gained, they made the best performance ever. For her, it was like a dream. She has never felt this happy and fulfilled before. She closed her eyes smiling, continued her own dream, all by herself.

“It must be an awful dream” He screamed in fear at the side of her bed. “Wake up honey, please wake up” He pleaded in tears while shaking up her body. “Where are you?” he looked around in the room, “Why did you go? Don’t leave me alone, where is your soul?” his body falls on hers, he hugged her while moaning “Please come back, please come back…”

Days passed after the funeral, the only one knowing his secret has gone. Loneliness has grown more and more in his heart. Everyday, he wakes up hoping to find his wife back. Every time he walks down the street, he keeps on staring on people’s face hoping that he could find her, if not in her body, in other people’s body. Maybe in her youth, maybe as a baby, maybe as an animal, or a man! Who knows! Sometimes he feels himself crazy staring at everyone trying to locate her. Still doesn’t believe that she is dead. Maybe she went somewhere else, but her soul can’t just fade out like that. At least this is what he kept telling himself, this is what he wants to believe in. He can’t loose her for ever. It is so damn hard living without her.

Sometimes going out without a disguise, sometimes with disguise, his double life continued, with new young friends coming into his life, and some old friends passing away. With his daily search of his wife, he learnt to see her in everything. Now when a cat passes in front of him, he sees his wife, when he looks in the sky, he sees her face, when he talks to his neighbor, he feels her spirit. His love for her spread among his world. He felt that while her soul is spread around, her heart lies in those lovely flowers in the garden that she used to take care of. With each new growing flower, he used to feel her birth again, and with every dying one, he felt sadness for his wife’s death.

To be continued… (only one page left)

Young old man short story – Page5

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Page 5

wife was a religious person which gave him an insight of how to approach her. He didn’t want to ruin her world, so he needed to come out with something related to her belief system. “Mary” he whispered. She looked at him trying to figure out what he wants. He said “I love you”. A tear stuck into his eyes.

He grabbed her attention now with his seriousness, she looked gently at him again “What’s up my dear?”, “I am scared” he said. She hugged him. He then asked her “Do you believe in miracles?” He knew that she does, he just needed a starting point. “Your prayers have been answered my love. I know that you pray every night for God to ease my pain. A couple of days ago, an angel appeared to me while you were sleeping. He said that with faith, you can tell a mountain to move and it would. With your faith, my love, you moved much more than a mountain, you moved the pain out of my body, and gifted me my youth back again.” He said that while slowly taking off his disguise.

Not believing what is happening. She stood there staring at him in shock. It was certainly the biggest shock of her entire life. Slowly and slowly she saw her husband going back to his youth. “No, this can’t be real. You are not Adam” She screamed with fear! She turned her face away, and then turned it back. It is a copy of Adam at his youth. “Oh, my lord” she missed this person. He stepped closer to her and was about to touch her when she shouted “Stop, don’t touch me, go away” she burst out in tears and fall down on her knees, “Where is Adam? Please bring him back” she begged him. He kneeled down next to her, put his arms around her, and hugged her strongly trying to protect her. He was crying himself. He put his hands around her face, raised her head up, and kissed her on her forehead. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” He whispered in her ear as she started to calm down.

She stood up again, moved three steps back while starting to believe him. “You are Adam indeed”, she looked at him in admiration. She moved slowly forward to check him up. Put her hands on his face, touching his eyes, his nose and his lips. “It is you honey” she said, with tears and a smile she dropped her body in his arms. “Hug me Adam, hug me my love”.

In his arms, she couldn’t tell how she feels now. She is positive that a miracle happened. She is so happy for him. Now that all his pain is gone, he looks cuter than ever. It is like life came into his body once again. She felt somehow jealous, but also guilty for feeling this. She is happy for him, but she can’t ignore her fears. She wants to get her youth back too. She looks like his grand mother now. Suddenly her happiness turned into fear, feeling her insecurities rise, she spoke up in concern “Do you still love me?”

To be continued…

Young old man short story – Page4

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Page 4

Back home now, nothing has changed. In disguise, he looks exactly the same old man of yesterday. He even can mock the way he used to move. It is bless that he still has his memory. He smiled as he entered the house, trying to be cautious not to make any fast or unusual move to his age.

The rest of the day passed as usual. His mind was occupied with one idea. How the hell would he tell his wife? At night, he couldn’t sleep. His wife was lying next to him in bed. His mind was working so hard, he kept on looking at her, remembering those old nice days. He has a great fear of loosing her now. Looking at her, with her wrinkles, and weak body, he adores the way she turned out to be at this age. He loved her at first sight; he loved every phase of her body and mind evolvement over the years, in her twenties, thirties, forties and even now in her late sixties. He always loved her, they have been through a lot together, and he is sure that she would accept his newly/old body, they will deal with it together. He is positive.

What a lovely angel lying next to him. He bent down, slowly moved his head near hers, he kissed her gently on her forehead wishing her sweet dreams. A tear came out of his eyes. He then found himself searching for the bible. It has been long time ago since he opened it. At some point, he became an atheist. He thought that his body would just die and vanish. Now, with these unusual circumstances, he found himself obligated to search for the truth, he may find a hint in the bible, he may find it somewhere else, he doesn’t know. He just can’t let go of his fear. Will it be a continuous cycles where he would get old then young over and over again? Or it is just one chance for him to re-live his life. He knows one thing now; he should be careful what to wish for. He smiled at this thought, closed his eyes, and slept hoping something would change in the morning.

Next day, nothing has changed, he tried to talk out with his wife, but couldn’t. He couldn’t even tell anyone. A few days passed, and he felt lonely, lonelier than ever. He started living a double life. Maintaining his old relationships, and builds some new ones with people at young age. He felt so uncomfortable with these changes, and with secrets built gradually in his life, he felt that he is drifting away of the person her loves the most in this world. Everyday, sitting near her, he tried to speak up, to end up speechless. Words got stuck in his throat. He panics over and over when ever he wants to talk. Suddenly, at one evening, it came out.

To be continued…

Jehadi peaceful initiative starting at Jordan Planet

Would it be a sin if we borrow a role model from another country to save our nation at this point of time?

Can we adhere to civilized resistance as a mean of our ‘Jehad’ for once as opposed to what have we doing for ages and which didn’t help us in anyway except of trashing our race and religion?

Why don’t we follow the suit of Mahatma Ghandi and learn from the Hindu experience?

Khaled Bin Walid, Tariq ibn Ziyad, Amin Al Husayni and other Arabic historical heroes want help us in our current quest. Our challange is bigger this time than ever. Our only solution would be to change our ways into peacful means.

Maybe we can start here on Jordan Planet and initiative to save our image in the world. We can borrow Mahatma Ghandi’s image in showing the world that we can be a peaceful nation. If we work it right, we can reach media headlines “Jordanian Bloggers borrow Hindu role model to save their nation reputation”, “Arabs and Muslim, can still prove to the world that they are peaceful nations”.

No more killing in the name of Islam. We can choose and support a civilized resistance, alike the Hindu. They didn’t shoot a single bullet, they didn’t bombed their children, and didn’t blast any English man. They paid a lot, but finally they won their independence. In the other hand, we paid, and paid, without gaining anything except a bad reputation.

Let us stick togather, we can make a change to save our nation. Starting here, from Jordan Planet, we can reach the world.

I call every single one of you follow bloggers to stick to your duty towards your nation. Let Ghani help us like he did to his people. His image can save us.