Young old man short story – Page1


I want to publish here a short story that I wrotea while ago so that I can gather people’s opinion, but it isn’t too short to be fit in one blog post, so I think maybe it is better to cut it into pages and post each page on a day so that readers won’t get board. I want your feedback guys.

The story is about an old man who suddenly regained his youth. Hope you will like it.

Young Old Man

Moving in his bed, suddenly awake, it is morning, he is still sleepy, but needs to wake up to take care of the garden. He has this weird feeling, something that he didn’t feel for a long time now. There is some extra energy in his body. He looked at his hands, wow; it looks like he is back to his youth! Still can’t distinguish if this is a dream or not, he jumped in front of the mirror hanging at the center of his room.

He jumped, *jumped*! Thinking about this, still doesn’t believe it. He stared at the mirror. His eyes grew larger and felt his heart beating faster and faster. He couldn’t tell the feeling he has. His hair is back, dark like in his youth. Those wrinkles in his face have gone! He opened his mouth, what lovely white bright teeth he has! Still amazed, he bite his hand hoping to wake up, but no, it seems *real*.

Scared, he sat down back on his bed. Looking around him, there is nothing different. It is still the bed that he has 20 years ago. The same room that he has been living in for years now! He looked through the window. It was a nice sunny day, almost like yesterday. He laid his head back on the bed. He closed his eyes again hoping that something may change. Does he want this? Still can’t tell.

He opened his eyes again. It seems to be for real. Where is his wife? She must be in the kitchen fixing breakfast. Is she back to her youth too? What a lovely idea it would be, what if she is not? What if she is the same old woman of yesterday? How would she look at him now? A lot of questions popped into his head. She must have had seen him when she woke up. Maybe not! He needs to find out.

Slowly, he opened the door of his room, making sure not to make any noise, he hears his wife in the kitchen, seems like she is doing the dishes. From the kitchen door, he glimpsed quickly at her, she had her back to him while standing there with her lovely white hair and bent back. He was relieved and disappointed at the same time. He still has his wife, who he slept in the same bed near her yesterday, but he lost himself, well, he gained his young one, but lost his yesterday’s old one. What does this mean? Is he still alive?

To be continued…

6 thoughts on “Young old man short story – Page1

  1. mohammad says:

    you asked for a comment and here it goes , first of all the idea is OLD , i mean it’s been done before , 2nd , you need to start the short story with a line or two that can’t attracte the reader , i didn’t feel that , actully i barely could keep reading , However , the way you closed it up with the question “is he still alive ? ” that was great , it made me wounder , and that’s why am going right now to read page 2 , and i’ll comment on that one too

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  2. Mohammad, Thanks for the comment🙂I think that you will find something different with the idea of the story as you go on.And I will try to bear in mind to make a better start in the next short story I write. I am just glad I ended this section with a question. It obviously helped in keeping people wondering what’s going to happen next.Thanks again for the feedback.

    Like

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